Flyin' Solo

As a woman who travels alone, I am still somewhat of an anomaly. Although this is becoming more and more common, it's still often met with incredulous stares. My travel experience is incredibly limited compared to many of my friends who found their wings a little earlier, yet I keep getting asked the same questions.

"Aren't you scared to travel alone?"
"Wow, I wish I could just go do that..."
"Don't you get lonely?"
"What if something HAPPENS??"

I'd like to address this, because that line of questioning , unchecked, will stop you dead in your adventurous tracks and send you galloping home to hide under your bed.

I was brought up in a home that didn't tolerate a lot of nonsense. You were going to be a productive member of society in whatever way you could, or you were going to go live under a bridge. Period. I cannot thank my parents enough for instilling these values in me from the start. I was taught to be useful, self confident, and to take pride in these qualities. So many of the women I meet get this wide-eyed look when I tell them I'm taking off to Costa Rica for a month with nothing but my backpack.

Usually the first response is concern.

"You're going ALONE? Aren't you scared? What if something happens? Won't you be lonely?"

Ladies, STOP. Let's talk about this.

Am I scared of travelling alone sometimes? Of course I am. As a somewhat slightly built woman (not speaking for all women of course) I am physically incapable of defending myself from a stronger assailant. Sometimes I do feel that cosmic target hovering above my head when walking down a strange street alone. And things do happen, really bad things to really good people, all the time. But here's the thing. Just because they can does not mean they will. We have this amazing ability to selectively ignore the dangers that are statistically highest and focus on those that are hyped up by the media and people around us. For instance, most of us spend a good part of our day inside of (or walking within inches of) a several thousand pound mass of metal which is hurtling down the road at speeds which could easily turn you into nothing but a smear on the concrete. That vehicle is controlled by a PERSON. You are trusting that same person who you might meet in a dark alley some night with your life every single day! Wake up and look at things logically. We all are going to die sometime, you simply cannot avoid it. Would you like to go out nice and safely, having missed out on the best experiences in life because you were scared? Or would you like to go out with nothing left to give and a smile on your face, knowing you really lived? Take precautions to protect yourself of course, don't be foolish and do what is necessary to stay safe, but for God's sake, GO.

As for loneliness, this is a valid concern, but also one of the most valuable experiences you can have. Almost all of us have had that feeling at one point or another of being completely alone in a crowded room. We fill our lives to the brim with chatter and people and their judgements and noise, we base our lives and our self-worth around our friends and family. With all this constant background static, when do you ever have a moment to just sit with your own company? Most people have become afraid or even incapable of this. Traveling alone puts you in a unique position. You don't have other company. You don't have the judgement and opinions of others always ringing in your ears. You don't have anything to direct your thoughts except yourself; it is complete accountability. Maybe at first it will be very difficult. Your mind rebels at being alone, not being told what to do and how to act and think. But it gets better! The human mind is amazingly complex and needs stimulation. Eventually you are going to get bored with the negative thought patterns you feed yourself. You will simply become tired of hearing yourself whine, and may begin to explore whole new areas of yourself you never knew were there. This can be an amazingly valuable and healing experience, so embrace it! You do not need anyone else to verify your worth or your opinions. Become your own best friend and you will never be alone.

"What if something happens??" This is usually followed by that horrified look, fear of the inescapable nastiness that surrounds them just outside their little safety bubble, waiting to pounce at any moment. Come on. Really?? Odds are something is going to happen. That's travel. That's part of the experience. I am sick and tired of listening to women reinforce this antiquated idea that we are somehow less capable than a man in any situation. You are only as capable as you choose to be!! You get a flat tire in the middle of nowhere? Fix it. You get lost in a city that you don't speak the language in? Find a damn map. You get all your documents stolen? Figure it out. You are perfectly capable of surviving and thriving on your own, and the more challenges you face and conquer, the more confident you will feel. You can't always change the things that happen but you can sure change your attitude. You can either fall down in a helpless, whining heap when trouble strikes or you can try your best to find the humor and fix it. Stop being helpless!


I hope this can inspire you to get off your couch, get out of your bubble, and go. I'd love to see proud, self-sufficient women travelers become the new normal! Happy travels to you all. :)

-Rachel